Wednesday, February 3, 2016
Tuesday, February 2, 2016
A child was born, parents rejoiced!
They ran to the nearest school for booking admission
As the child started to walk
Parents were curious to get him to school
Before words became sentences
Playing blocks became writing books for the toddler
Instead of bed time stories
Repeating of age old Rhymes became the norm
As the child moved to the high school
Running around for college admissions began
As College farewell happened with grace
the hunt for the jobs began
As the salary from work started to come
the quest for a bride for marriage began
As the son got married
the hunt for his own house began
As the house became a permanent home
plans for family expansion began
The child looked back
He found the parents long gone
The child is no longer a child
But his life seems to have altogether gone
The same cycle of existence
Few trips that he could make
Little savings that could take
on his medical bills due to the style of life
Where did his life just disdain?
It is time to Stop this madness!
Take one thing at a time
Take time to do one thing fine
with all its blessings
Make time for parents
for sooner they will be gone
Make friends for a lifetime
For they will stand by in all times
Do good to the breathren
The goodness will always pay back
Pack your blessings
and Say your prayers
Stay in Peace
Before it silently disappears!
Monday, February 1, 2016
5 Thumb-rules to make a Good Leader...rather a great leader.
1. Be Receptive
The attitude of attention giving creates empathy and gives the team a sense of belonging and they feel the importance of their presence. Listening to their opinions, ideas may actually help completing complex projects and finishing great products
2. Be Humble.
A leader will always accept his or her weakness and will thrive his best to put forward his intelligence and experience to overcome the problems. Facing criticism constructively and being tolerant to all situations is the most humblest character of a leader.
3. Be comprehensible.
The basic relationship between a leader and followers or the team members depend on the things spoken and acts done. As long as the talk and act are in the same direction, it will give the leader all due respect.
4. Be an active agent
When there is a change happening, learn to be the crusader instead of resisting change. Coordination and delegation of tasks makes the leader prioritize things. Participation in the execution of the tasks provides required moral support to the team
5. Recognize good work
Never criticize a bad worker in public. Keep all those advices and overshadowing behind the curtains. However, do not fail to recognize good work in front of everybody. Genuine appreciation motivates people and interests them to make wonders. Recogniztion of positive points will motivate other team members as well. It will create a healthy competition.
Happy to have met Ms Ginni Rometty in Chennai today. A classic example of wonderful leader, President, Chairman and Managing Director of IBM. Her speech was inspiring and her way of thinking is marvelous. Meeting such wonderful leaders, especially woman leaders is not only motivating but also strong provocation to think out of the box, towards growth, towards change and towards better technology ultimately towards a better world.
Sunday, January 31, 2016
Saturday, January 30, 2016
I wrote in my diary sarcastically calling it 'the gift that keeps on giving'. It had been several months now that he is binding me from all sides. Be it profession, personal life, dreams, hobbies, emotional and physical well-being, he seems to be appearing everywhere around.. I know that the skeleton would fall out of the cupboard any time sooner than later. Finding a soul-mate! I smiled to myself.
I cursed Shankar for having come in my life very late. But with a spouse who is around me all the time, I still managed to get time with Shankar. Going on long drives, sharing a silent candle-lit dinner, sitting on the beach and watching children play football, little dare-to-do kisses and hugs in the privacy of the car, walking around holding hands on the highway and further more, driving down few hundred miles to the privacy of a new town for the unimaginable ecstasy of romance that had a special cupid touch. I felt all my essential emotional needs being met when Shankar is around.
What started as a meeting 'over a cup of coffee' , soon became frequent. Without knowing, friendship bloomed into a physical relationship. 'Paru! Paru!' - Shankar called me back to the present world.
'What are you thinking so deeply dear?' - He asked with all concern.
I replied rather sternly - 'Will you introduce me to the client as your wife?' Shankar took back for a moment from holding my hand. I could see a sense of discomfort in the way he reacted.
'Why should I introduce you as my wife?' He asked. I said, 'because I am your WIFE! " stressing the word Wife!
'You are my wife. You are my everything dear' - He confessed holding my hands.
'Then tell to this world the same thing Shankar' - My voice shivered in pain and I could sense the fury, anger and desperation to myself. I know he cannot. I also know that he will not leave his wife or child for me. Sametime, I am also aware that he will not leave me. I know he loves me. But I am confused. I am lost.
'Trust me Paru! Please'. We are living happily as we can. You know that I will do anything for you. I am happy with you and you are also happy with me.' I can hear Shankar trying to convince me.
But my mind is racing against the facts...the reality which is far from the indulgence of my extra marital affair. I know that my husband will be hurt and feel terrible and respond with challenges that I cannot handle if he comes to know of this relationship. Yet, I am asking him the questions to which I myself do not have answers.
The health of my relationships within my family, friends and the community is largely happy and respected one. So does his broad circle of life he has outside my relationship in his life.
'Go tell your wife, that you are cheating her. Tell her that you want to leave her and marry me! ' I shouted at him in the car when he tried to hold my hand and pacify me.
'What happened to you Paru! You are never like this. Why are you becoming a stubborn horse?' - I can see pain in his eyes and care in his voice.
'I want to be your pregnant.' - I told him bluntly without a second thought. I know what he would respond as well. But I really did not know what I wanted to hear from him the night I decided to really introspect my indulgence with him
'Don't be a fool Paru. You know you cannot go ahead with the decision. You also know that you will not welcome an illegitimate child to this world? Still do you want to be a pregnant with me?' - This time, I could hear his anger and frustration.
'See, See, I told you. What ever it may be, I am still your KEEP. I am not your wife. Had it been the honesty of me being your wife, you would have loved to hear me with what I wanted.'.
I could hear the warning bells ringing inside me not to provoke his anger further. But my words are not getting under control. My thoughts are racing against my rational judgement. The lies of the relationship is hurting my self-esteem and causing a deep sense of insecurity. I want him to understand that I need a recognition. Recognition as his wife.
'Paru, I will do that when time comes. Finish all your responsibilities and then we shall decide'- He promised
'Shame on you Shankar. What the hell do you think of yourself?. It will take me a life time to settle my children and complete my responsibilities and you will want to give me what I want today after I complete my life? ' I was furious
I know it is all going wrong. Horribly wrong. I have no guarantee in this relationship which I honestly want to be ever lasting. Instead of trying to save it by defusing the situation, I am actually infuriating it towards a forever damage. My primary relationship of marriage needs all my attention and probably may never end. If at all he tries to end his present marriage, that may well take several months and not going to end any sooner.
'I am not able to take this anymore! Either you marry me and give me a social recognition or just leave me and go! " - I shouted.
Paru! - I felt a sharp pain on my face as his hand hit me hard. 'Stop the nonsense. Do you hear me! Just stop and go home now!'- Shankar shouted back on me and came to my side of the car and opened the door.
I could not get down. I am still in the state of shock. I felt totally trapped between the 'wants' and the 'should's' of my life. I felt torn and didn't know what to do! Just felt broken. Tears floods down my cheeks as I hid my face in my palms and cried. He left me to cry.
'I love you Paru. Do what ever you feel is right. Just let me know what I should do. If marriage is the only thing you want, I will do everything possible to make it happen. First, you go home and talk to your husband about this and initiate your divorce. I will wait for you.' - Shankar told me softly.
'Leave me Shankar!'. I told him firmly. This time, the words came out of my mind than my heart. 'I am tired of this battle between my life and my love. I know I will be in pain. Pain for longer time than I can imagine. Healing will take time. But I will heal within!.
I took my bag from the back seat of his car and walked away. I felt terribly shaken. But I know I have evolved.
Evolution from an indulgence that was not easy. Time will give me the strength. My needs may change over time, as I re-evaluate both of our lives. Tomorrow our children will be happy for the decisions I made today. They can continue living in the unbroken families.
Shankar stood there, watching me walk away. As I turned back to see him for one last time, I saw him leaning over the steering wheel hiding his face in his hands. I know I have hurt him. But I also know he will heal.
At the end of time, we are all alone in our journey into awareness, rethinking and reevaluating the decisions made in our lives and who we are becoming. In the evolution of consciousness, leaving behind a relationship that doesn't work, forced me to look into who I am. Perhaps for the first time, I have come to understand my short comings and started to work on myself.
I have one life to live. Let me make the most of it. Without giving it a life long trauma in the name of non-existent extra marital affair. Yes, I am happy I ended it. It is the end of my indulgence.
Friday, January 29, 2016
Thursday, January 28, 2016
Right of Freedom of Expression
Is my fundamental right as a citizen of India. Yes, I love this right and I am also aware of the duties that come along with it. It gives me immense pleasure and pride to write what I think....Out of box, inside my head, pains of my heart, foolishness of my friend, ranting over a relative, shopping, slipping on the staircase,eating in the terrace....do what all possible under the sun and sky!
We, as bloggers of Chennai and much more pride of being part of the 'The Chennai Bloggers Club' rejoice in what we do. Our own musings on our blogs, collective writing and editing, sharing thoughts and events, fun and concerns, food and meets.
Today, CBC is a big family of close to 300 bloggers from all walks of life. We are a strong group of writers in the group that closely interact in a closed group in Facebook. We tweet our thoughts. We share our dreams and causes. The bonding is not built over night. But a steady and persistent flow of events brought us together.
We are now a matured lot of writers, welcoming new one's into the old, helping each other, motivating and inspiring like always. Few of us have gone a step ahead as published authors adding feathers in the already shining cap of CBC.
The recently held 2 events - Bloggers meet sponsored by Stylori and the one we met at House #22 cafe for the book launch of fellow writer Shikha are classic examples of what brings us together. The passion for writing. The inner peace that comes with blogging. Yes, we are not just writers. We are thinkers.
As a happy family of Chennai Bloggers Club, it is of immense pride and awareness when our authors like Kavipriya Moorthy or Shashi publish their books. We have a strong social responsibility as writers. It gives us a sense of satisfaction as well as courage to voice out of opinions and sensible thoughts.
We love our fashion bloggers who bring in a class to what we can achieve. Our food bloggers make it visually appealing to our taste buds....Our travel bloggers take us on the world virtual tours. Motivational bloggers keep our every day dawn a pleasant one. What else can you ask from a group of comrades with one strong bonding of blogging! Love you CBC.
Wednesday, January 27, 2016
On 26th January 2016, Tuesday, both my husband and I were invited to be part of the inauguration of the 16th Branch of Thiru-Vi-Ka Speakers Forum in Chennai, at Independence Day Park behind Valluvar Kottam. Exnora and Walkers Association joined hands in support.
It was such a pleasant morning where lot of people of all age groups gathered. There were guests of honour felicitating the function. Few children queued up to speak about freedom fighters and India's Republic Day.
Children and Elders took up turns to talk freely, happily and out of heart on the things that were closer to them. After the flag hoisting on the eve of 67th Republic Day, the guests gathered to celebrate the beginning of the speakers forum at this specific park. This is a moment of celebration as this forum is a platform for all people, sharing and give and take knowledge. There is no money motive or heirarchy of leadership in this forum. This is the forum of the people, by the people and for the people.
The mantra of the speakers forum founded by Dr .R. Damodharan 13 years ago in Chennai is very simple. Meet everyweek in the nearest park, encourage speakers and give them an opportunity to showcase talents, share knowledge, build a community of inspiring youngsters and prune them to be leaders.
1. The speakers can talk on any subject except criticizing Religion and Politics
2. Anyone can participate and speakers are free to talk on anything, except provoking speech on religions, political or radical topics
3. Motive is to provide brief, clear and precise speech within 5 minutes given to each speaker
4. All languages and all age groups are encourged
5. They meet at the local park (branch of Thiru-vi-ka Forum) every week at the specific time and share knowledge.
6. It has people from all walks of life - including lawyers, doctors, engineers, press people, teachers, auditors, accountants, students, IAS aspirants, government employees, home makers and all others.
7. Every one is a member. It continues as a forum of people
8. Voluntary contributions help for the motivational gifts and organizing chairs, mikes etc needed for the forum. There is no monetary motive in this whole exercise
9. Free meetings attended by an average of 30 people in each park every week to conquer the fear of public speaking.
10. Continued for years with the motive of making good speakers and thinkers to transform as leaders. Energize them to meet the challenges of life
What this forum builds
1. Excellent speakers - making introverts come out as extroverts
2. Making Leaders with objectives of public speaking
3. Building a network of like minded people
4. Creating a community with strong moral values
5. Importance of time, talk and words is enriched
6. Develop communication skills and self-confidence
May God bless the endeavors of the self-less service and contribution of all forum members continue. May this tribe increase as the forum slowly spreads to all the parks in Chennai.
Long Live the inspiration for a better society.
Tuesday, January 26, 2016
Monday, January 25, 2016
Reactions! As a person I was very fond of them. I always believed that for every action, there was an immediate and opposite reaction. yes, it was a science theory we all learnt. But over the years, I realized that my reactions were increasing the number of people who dislike me. Few disowned me as I did react in the way they did not expect me to react. I could not pretend to react in a way they wanted me to. Whose fault? No one's.
People loved me for my immediate and apt reactions too. I was admired for being opinionated on everything happening around. My judgmental thinking and values expressed were also admired.
At the same time, my reactions were becoming hyper active and straightforward. They were getting filled with anger, frustration, intolerance against atrocities, greed, cheating and people who deceive their own families - kith and kin.
Intolerant reactions to people who did things unjustified triggered back on me. I became a quick enemy for reasons that could have been defused, had I not reacted. Being expressive and vocal with reactions fetch you disturbing circumstances. I was not immune to this.
People who did everything bad, without being expressive at all, became good people. Whereas, opposing such acts with strong reactions make us look evil. Intentions doesn't matter. But reactions do. In the end, we are the losers. It leaves us with disappointments, frustration and anger.
You have to react. But you should know the limits. Being over reactive shows your weaknesses to others. You are no more a puzzle to others for your limitations are shown openly. You end up as a failure.
For example, a mother keeps on shouting on a child for disobeying and not doing her homework daily. The child calmly ignores the abuse and gives a deaf ear to her mother. The day mother changes her reaction and gives a stern look in silence, that is when the child started to feel something more aggressive. That was when the child actually felt the mother's nonacceptance. The child did everything to change. Just because the mother's reactions changed.
Instead of asking others to change, how we react to circumstances if changed, will in the long run bring the results we seek. Reactions of anger, abuse, quarrel and struggle gives no room for positive energies. The way we defuse and use our reactions define who we are !
Sunday, January 24, 2016
It is a beautiful word
making this world a better place
Beauty of the heart
Is in the kindness we show
Beauty of the mind
Is in the thoughts we sow
Beauty of the life
Is in the way we let life go
Beauty of the family
Is in the togetherness we hold
Beauty of the child
Is in the way it is raised
Beauty of the friendship
Is in the depth of bonding we hold
Beauty is in the religion
That respects every other creed
Beauty of the language
In the songs that are made
Beauty of the society
Is in the inclusions we make
Beauty of the soul
Is in the way our thoughts take
is Just not a word
But a Way of Life we make!
Saturday, January 23, 2016
Gratitude. This is one of the most powerful words in the world. It makes a difference. It drives you with compassion. It makes you to be thankful to what you received in life. It does wonders when used right.
I would like to share a short story on gratitude. I will go with my regular protagonist Paru.
Paru was a young mother to a six month old infant baby, when her husband lost his job. After endless attempts, her husband could not get a job which would feed her family. Being a graduate herself, she was feeling not only helpless but also frustrated that she is not able to support the family.
When she asked her mother in law for support to buy few essentials for her baby, her mother-in-law sharply asked her to sell her jewellery and get what she wants. It was a blow on her face. That's when she decided to take up a job herself. Accepting the challenge to find opportunities in adversities is a woman's strength always.
Sooner than later, things changed as she took up a job and she could afford basic necessities to her family by herself. Instead of being annoyed by the rejection of her inlaws to help, Paru felt thankful to her mother-in-law for having shown her a way to make her own life. Had it not been for that gratitude, Paru would have remained a dejected woman in life with no way to move forward and would have been sitting at home, brooding over her destiny.
Gratitude happens from unknown corners of life. We need to be thankful not only for our success but also for our failures. For they are the best lessons. We need to be always thankful to God, our parents, our teachers and all those people and circumstances that made us survive.
Thank you is not just another magical word. It is a feeling. It is an essence of good living.
Friday, January 22, 2016
India is a growing economy, however millions of our fellow Indians continue to languish in poverty.
One of the biggest reasons for this is the lack of education. Lack of this common right has deprived large sections of our society of even the most basic of human rights. A recent UN report on education released stated that India still has the largest number of illiterate adults in the world. In fact, did you know that over half of the illiterate adults live in just four countries: Bangladesh, China, India and Pakistan. Appalling isn’t it ?
“There are currently 7.5 million children out of school in India. Of those who attend school, 50% will drop out before Class V. Underlining that poverty is a critical factor that blocks access to education, it quotes a 2005 survey that in India the poorest 20 per cent were over three times more likely to be out of school than children from the richest 20 per cent.”
Teach For India is a nationwide movement that aims to bridge the educational gap in India by placing promising college graduates and young professionals in low-income government & private schools to teach full-time for two years. The organization’s mission is to build a movement of leaders who will eliminate inequity in education and meet the vision that ‘One day all children will receive an excellent education.’ While, it’s a low paying job that requires a full time commitment, the experience is worth its weight in gold. It does need a two year commitment from you so don’t apply if you’re not sure.
As part of Positive India, we are making good advance in cutting down the school drop-outs. Various government led programs coupled with wonderful initiatives by Corporates and NGOs are making a wide difference bringing in great impact in getting children back to schools.
Teach for India is an initiative conceptualized and led by the Times of India group and is present in five Indian cities - Mumbai, Pune, Delhi, Hyderabad and Chennai. It is also a part of the ‘Teach for All’ network which comprises of similar organizations in 26 other countries.
And you never know that the cure to cancer / AIDS and other such diseases, which can’t be treated, could be trapped in the mind of someone who can't afford or hasn't had an opportunity to get an education! You could be the one to find that bright star and start his / her journey towards finding the cure!
For more information on the program and applying do log on to www.teachforindia.org.
Thursday, January 21, 2016
The 6 Pack Band comprises six transgender singers hailing from India’s ‘Hijra’ community. It’s an initiative created and driven by Y-Films, the youth wing of Yash Raj Films, to help further the cause of gender equality in India.
True to this spirit, the Brooke Bond Red Label 6 Pack Band celebrates togetherness by depicting a more welcoming world. Thanks to Celebrities like Sonu Nigam and Anushka Sharma, who stood by these people in brining out the the best of talents...no matter what gender they belong to.
Saluting the spirit of inclusion.
Giving equal status to the deprived
Mixing the trangenders in mainstream society
Recognising them as equal humans
No matter, how they look
No offense on how they USED to behave
They need a platform to refine
A paradigm shift in lives that define
The spirit of India, our pride of Freedom
The Glory of recognition, the real stardom!
Wednesday, January 20, 2016
As we instill in us, good thoughts; they lead to good days
The more of positive vibes; makes us more optimistic!
As we involve ourselves in good deeds, good things rays
Making our lives, meaningful and enjoyable in mystic!
What we think, often, is what we are made in the end!
The life we live, is mostly reflects on the type of our friends!
Those who go beyond the boundaries of differences
And could see the sunlight just under the wide sky
Those who cross the borders of pain and suffering with smiles
And could see the stars even in the darkest canopy
Are the one's who are sowing the seeds of bamboo
that takes time to grow within, but raises to shoot at once
It takes years of waiting, watering, sunlight and air,
And when it raises, it raises high into the wider skies
It is the power of the perseverance and persistent try
When you seed good thoughts, you do reap a good life
It is the power of the wisdom and gentle soul to rejoice
Living in the spirit of self enriching goals and inner joys
Tuesday, January 19, 2016
One thing that is offered in this world free of cost, free of asking, free of everything is 'ADVICE'. In short, it means, advertising their own thoughts thinking as wise. How sweet of me to realize this... ofcourse late. But wise me!
This advertising wise....starts from the time we start doing anything in life. Admission of a child to school, each one you know gives their own view of what a good school is, how good ratings it have, how proud you should be to get admission there and what not. Poor me over-powered by these 'advices' is now more confused.
If you planning to get wedding, the rain of advices start with a storm. How you should behave, how traditional the family should be, how to choose a spouse, what to expect...blah blah blah...Hey common, Am I getting married or you? Let me think!
The same continues as you getting in college, getting into career, moving to a new neighbourhood, writing a book, starting a business and what not. People stop poking their noses into your business.
It is upto you, whether you take them or ignore. Doing what you think is right for you only helps.
The biggest of rainfall of advices start pouring in when someone ends up in separation, divorce, loss of a job or property, or meet with an accident, or loses someone close in life.
The sad part is even the healing and grieving process is not immune to the advices. Other people fail to understand how much they infact cause pain and grief than healing. Only when you know to install an invisible filter in your mind to ignore what is not needed and unnecessary comments, suggestions and free advices, you will be able to take proper unbiased decisions what is right for life
It is not that we should not listen. We should. We should also know to filter what will do good for us and accept them modestly and ignore what is unwanted with poise and move on.
After all, it is your life, and you are strong and confident to deal with all situations in life. When you want, you can always ask.
You have the right to lead the life as you want. Stay Firm! Stay Confident. Implant an invisible filter in your mind. It makes your life free from undue influences and unwanted heart aches!
Monday, January 18, 2016
Tiruvalluvar, the renowned Tamil Saint, who has written the immortal work called 'Tirukural' used to keep by his side a needle and small cup filled with water when he sat for meals.
When a host asked him on why he insisted having these two place by the side of the plate. He said, 'Food should not be wasted. Every grain is precious. Sometimes, stray grains of cooked rice or stray pieces of cooked vegetables fall off the place or away from it, while I eat. I lift them off the floor, with help of this needle and stir them in water to clean them, and eat them.
What an amazing lesson this is, for those who waste more than they consume.
You can buy food, have resources to go for a large meal or buffet but have no right to waste the food on the plate...for the resources are not just yours!
You can buy food, have resources to go for a large meal or buffet but have no right to waste the food on the plate...for the resources are not just yours!